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简短的回答是肯定的。 没有婚前准备就结婚,就像没有准备就开始创业或任何重要的冒险。 所有的婚姻中有一半以离婚告终,而且只有一半的婚姻能够长久地保持真正的幸福。 Many happily engaged couples assume that they won’t be contributing to these statistics. 但如果你只是即兴发挥,指望你的运气让你的婚姻成功,你的几率只有四分之一。 还有另一种方法。
Most couples just don’t realize that good, skill-based pre-marriage counseling or classes can reduce the risk of divorce by up to 30% and lead to a significantly happier marriage, according to marriage research. 它还中欧体育官方网站可以减少婚前的压力。 只要现在付出一点努力,从长远来看,你的胜算就会大得多。 你想要尽你所能来确保你的美好婚姻和美好生活的梦想得以实现。
Pre-marriage preparation is based on the reality that it’s important to strengthen your relationship and prepare constructively for future challenges and conflicts that everyone will inevitably face at some point in their marriage, now while you have so much fresh positive energy in your relationship. Don’t stick your head in the sand. 研究表明,在婚礼前一年和婚礼后的六个月左右有一个机会之窗,这段时间新人从婚姻准备中获得最佳收益。 后来,在压力下,消极的习惯和关系模式可能会变得根深蒂固,而且更难解决。
夫妻们现在面临着比以往更多的要求和更少的支持。 典型的复杂婚姻——在抚养孩子的同时兼顾两份事业——确实要求夫妻双方有很强的、成熟的沟通、解决问题、保持相互关系和设定目标的能力。 Without this foundation, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by stress and time pressures. 问题可能比大多数夫妻意识到的要容易得多。 As much as it’s important to come to terms with unrealistically positive expectations, those who grew up with divorced or unhappily married parents may find that they have unacknowledged and unexplored expectations that their marriage, too, may become unhappy. 结婚准备就像一种免疫,中欧体育官方网站可以提高你处理潜在困难的能力。 Couples need every advantage to succeed in today’s marriages.
最常见的是,那些接受婚前咨询的夫妇是从他们的宗教顾问那里得到的。 这中欧体育官方网站可以是一次或两次会议,也中欧体育官方网站可以是一系列扩展的会议。 有时包括评估清单和技能培训,但通常不包括。 非宗教专业咨询师也提供婚前咨询服务。 同样,服务的内容和数量取决于咨询师的定位和你的要求。 Often it doesn’t cover all the preparation that couples need.
婚姻准备课程或研讨会是对订婚夫妇和新婚夫妇进行技能、习惯、态度和丰富技巧教育的一种替代或补充方法,研究表明这些方法中欧体育官方网站可以带来幸福、持久的婚姻。 这样的婚姻准备课程是教育,而不是治疗。 和婚前咨询一样,其中一些课程有宗教赞助者; 其他人则是世俗的。 你可能会认为它们在很多方面类似于职业咨询。 他们解决了所有夫妻在婚姻过程中面临的正常问题和挑战。 Some people think that marriage preparation is well on the way to becoming as commonplace as driver’s training or test preparation.
并不是所有的婚姻准备都是一样的。 While the benefits of premarital education are beginning to become more widely known, most couples don’t yet understand the need to attend a program that focuses on specific factors that research has shown will boost a couple’s ability to succeed in today’s demanding marriages. 研究表明,从长远来看,那些有技巧的婚姻准备的夫妇更幸福,更成功。
Don’t make the mistake of thinking of counseling and marriage prep as alternatives to each other. 他们中欧体育官方网站可以在让新婚步入正轨的过程中给予非常多的赞美。 Counseling, while helpful in its own way, usually doesn’t provide the same kind of intensive skill-building and education. (Just as marriage prep doesn’t provide the more extensive exploration of individual problems and underlying issues that longer-term counseling can.) 技能培养和教育是长期防止离婚和婚姻成功的关键因素。 Today’s marriages need all the help they can get.
Susan Piver’s 困难的问题:在你说我愿意之前要问的100个基本问题 is a bestselling book that can assist you. 一个婚姻准备项目中欧体育官方网站可以给夫妇提供一个支持性的环境和框架,在这个环境和框架中,他们中欧体育官方网站可以提出这些问题,并掌握一些处理这些问题的技巧。
无论婚姻准备夫妇选择什么——以宗教为基础的宗教学习或宗教中立的宗教学习,咨询或课堂——都应该包括一些活动,让他们获得真正的技能,真正的期望,以及对自我和伴侣的真正认识,以面对一段忠诚关系中不可避免的挑战。
Here’s a concise list of seven relationship skill and knowledge areas that research has shown to contribute to the success and endurance of marriage:
确保你选择的婚前咨询或准备涵盖了所有这些。 Here are some questions to help you select the pre-marriage prep that’s right for you:
这些问题的答案将帮助你选择你的婚前课程和咨询作为一个受过教育的消费者。
If a couple’s premarital counseling with a religious adviser or lay professional does not address some important areas, the couple should think about supplementing with a program that does. 许多夫妇将婚姻准备和咨询结合起来,在课堂或研讨会上涵盖基础问题和技巧,然后在咨询中关注宗教或其他特殊问题。
许多宗教组织、大学和其他社区组织现在推荐或提供以技能为基础的婚姻准备课程。 If you can’t find a good program, try these sources: